From Fixing Yourself to Expressing Your Gifts
The problem with most dating strategies, is that they tend to be based on a psychology that tells you to lead with gimmicks, games and an airbrushed version of yourself and to minimize — or dismiss completely — your precious authenticity.
You end up so busy trying to impress a potential mate, you’re not being YOURSELF!
If you find you’re desperate to get in shape, dress better and try harder — in other words, fix yourself — to finally “win” the dating game and win over the man or woman you want, you’re a prime candidate for Deeper Dating.
Traditional dating sends the signal to your subconscious mind that parts of you are not acceptable and therefore you are “unworthy” for the mate of your dreams (or you’ll never be fully loveable if your prospective mate discovers these parts).
This leads to even more insecurity AND less ease and enjoyment…
And the worst part is that this entire approach tends to attract people who aren’t good for you — and you end up repeating your same negative patterns in your new relationships.
It’s time to experience a more authentic, heartfelt and vulnerable approach to finding the love you want — one in which you make every moment along the way an opportunity for becoming more beautifully, powerfully YOU.
On this new path, you’ll discover how to let go of old beliefs… including the need to “impress,” “win over,” “attract,” or “seduce” your life-mate. Instead, your journey will become one of self-revelation, in which you’re uncovering and embracing ALL parts of yourself and sharing your true self with others.
As you shift to this deeper understanding and orientation, you end up with many unexpected benefits in ALL of your relationships. You laugh more. You develop the capacity for real intimacy. You realize you CAN be loved, desired and appreciated for being you…
Most important, you come to see that what you thought were the “warts” you had to hide from others in order to be loved, are actually gifts. And your relationship wounds are no longer obstacles to unconditional love — they’re unexpected blessings for you and others.
Plus, you find yourself building nourishing foundations for intimacy and the love you desire.
During this transformational 7-module program you’ll discover:
- Your own unique core gifts (the key to finding lasting love and to deepen the intimacy in all your relationships), and learn how to lead with those gifts in your dating life
- Why self-improvement often leads you away from love, not toward it
- Skills in “educating your attractions” and developing romantic and sexual attraction to people who are good for you
- The greatest lessons of conscious dating, such as how to tell the difference between your “attractions of inspiration” and your “attractions of deprivation”
- The Gift/Wound/Defense Matrix and how it applies to your intimacy journey
- How to protect your new relationships from the most powerful and common saboteur of new and healthy love
- Ways to overcome the most common saboteurs of new relationships, including the distancing “wave” that almost always arrives
- New and concrete Deeper Dating skills specifically designed for online dating, dating events, social gatherings and day to day life — with checklists, suggestions, exercises and “field trips” for each of these venues
- How to prepare yourself for the love of your life!
What You’ll Discover in These 7 Modules
Course sessions are on Thursdays at 5:00pm Pacific.
In these 7 modules, you’ll discover you have the power to change your romantic future — by bringing the magic of your unique “core gifts” into the way you date and turning your path to love into a journey of liberation.
Each teaching session will build harmoniously upon the next, so that you’ll develop a complete, holistic understanding of the practices, tools and principles you’ll need to illuminate and sustain an authentic, fulfilling love. And don’t worry if you have to miss one or more classes — you’ll receive a recording and transcript of every class.
Module 1: How to Speed — And Ease — Your Path to Love
In this first class, you’ll discover why so many popular approaches to finding love ultimately fail us, and how the power of authenticity holds the key to finding love. You will learn why real love is within reach no matter what your age or life challenges. You will be introduced to the four stages of the Deeper Dating process, and learn how to transform your search for love into a real intimacy journey; one which is dramatically more likely to lead to real and healthy love.
- Why longing for love is a sign of wisdom, not weakness
- 6 seminal research findings which reveal a wiser path to love
- Why self-improvement often leads us away from love, not toward it
- Why looks, youth and success matter far less than the true skills of intimacy
- Why the path of Deeper Dating is so well-suited to older and more mature singles
- Some of the unique struggles faced by women seeking love
- Three tools for making your search for love both less painful and profoundly more effective
- The best way to learn to “love yourself first”
Module 2: Discovering Your Own Core Gifts
We focus on the very heart of the wiser search for love: naming and embracing our own Core Gifts. Core Gifts are our points of deepest sensitivity to life. We often think we need to hide or fix these points of deep sensitivity, but the reverse is true; they hold the key to our greatest inner beauty and our deepest capacity for love.
In this class, you’ll:
- Discover two of your deepest unique Core Gifts, and see how these gifts have shaped your relationship history — and your entire life
- Learn how your deepest insecurities and vulnerabilities reveal your greatest gifts
- Learn the tools for discovering your Core Gifts in both your joys and your heartbreaks
- Discover how honoring these Core Gifts can change your entire search for love — and the quality of your life
- Learn about the Gift/Wound/Defense Matrix, a new way to understand your life story and your intimacy journey
Module 3: Honoring Your Core Gifts
Your Direct Path to Love
In this module you will learn how to honor, listen to and work with your own Core Gifts. As part of this class, participants will begin to create their own Gift-Circle, a life-changing experience where the people who love you most help you see and understand your own Core Gifts.
- Eight essential tools for honoring and expressing your gifts
- What your Core Gifts need from you
- What no one teaches us about self-love
- How to let your Core Gifts lead you to romantic love
- How to create your own Gift-Circle
- Two powerful and exquisite 5-minute spiritual practices to empower and enrich your search for love
Module 4: Your Romantic & Sexual Attractions
The Heart of the Matter
Our romantic and sexual attractions — and what we do with them — shape our entire search for love, yet we are given almost no training in how to work with or understand these attractions.
You’ll discover some of the deepest truths around your attractions:
- Attractions of Inspiration vs. Attractions of Deprivation; the most important distinction of all
- Why our deepest attractions are often to people who are not good for us
- How we can educate our attractions to serve us in our search for healthy love
- How our capacity for deeper attraction increases as we age
- How our attractions reveal the deepest parts of our beings: both those parts we reject — and those we embrace
- The single decision which is almost guaranteed to transform our relationship future
Module 5: Learn the Skills of Deeper Dating & Discover How to Transform the Great Saboteurs of Healthy Love
You will learn how to bring the power, authenticity and magic of your Core Gifts right into the day to day reality of your search for love — and to all your relationships. You will develop a “toolkit” of skills which will help turn your dating life into an adventure of growth.
- The seven most important skills of Deeper Dating
- Modern dating for mature singles
- How dating differs for men and women
- Learn new and concrete Deeper Dating skills specifically designed for online dating, dating events, social gatherings and day to day life — with checklists, suggestions, exercises and “field trips” for each of these venues
- Engage in “mindful field trips” which will help illumine old patterns and help you develop new ones to move you closer to real love
- Learn about The Wave; the single greatest saboteur of healthy new love — and what to do when it hits
- Learn why the standard understanding of “fear of intimacy” does us a grave disservice, and why we don’t need to get beyond our fear of intimacy in order to find love
Module 6: Discovering Your Sexual & Romantic Core Gifts
How to Build Sexual & Romantic Attraction to People Who Are Good for You
You will learn specific tools and techniques for deepening your sexual, romantic, emotional and spiritual connection to people who are good for you. Exciting research findings and current intimacy theory offer us tremendous opportunities for bringing greater passion, erotic joy, tenderness and humanity to the way we love.
- And learn to embrace one of your essential sexual Core Gifts
- The AHA technique, a powerful, simple technique to profoundly deepen intimacy in your romantic relationship — or any relationship at all
- Specific research-based techniques for deepening and intensifying sexual and romantic connection with a partner
- How to work with attractions that threaten to knock you off balance
- The two most important questions for bringing deeper humanity, love and sexual depth into your relationship
Module 7: Being Loved & Loving Into Fullness
Acknowledgements & Visioning Your Next Steps
In this final module, you will reflect on your learning, growth and changes during this course. Through a set of powerful and evocative exercises, you will deepen your understanding of your most essential Core Gifts, and chart the next steps in your own intimacy journey.
- Find new ways to express your deepest intimacy gifts and how to negotiate the wounds and challenges that surround them
- Share with other class members the Core Gifts you have seen in them
- Receive guidance from your own deeper self — and your loved ones — to help you take concrete next steps in your deeper journey to love
- Identify sources of support for your deeper journey into intimacy now that the course is ending