You know the worst part?
We’re the first person who gives up on ourselves!
After a lifetime of making promises we never follow up on, we stop trusting ourselves. We tell our friends, “Yeah, we should get together!”
But as we say it, we know we’re never going to do it.
We complain to our friends about money, or our weight. “I should really do that…”
But we know we won’t.
Ironically, our friends and family still believe in us. They nudge us, support us, help us with each new idea we try.
But after a while, you can see it in their eyes. You tell them the new thing you’re “thinking of” doing…and there’s the briefest roll of their eyes.
Oh, here we go again…another thing he’s gonna start (and never finish).
And soon, it’s not just about calling ourselves lazy. We actually become lazy.
These slips of the tongue become self-fulfilling prophecies. When I was 5’11” and 127lbs (yes, it’s true), I used to say, “I can’t gain weight like those big white guys.” How stupid does that sound?
Yet it kept me from actually changing myself for years and years — until I finally decided to get help to gain weight and look like a normal human being.
Just like I used to do, we give up on ourselves. Oh sure, we say we’re going to try…but our own self-talk betrays us. “I’m just lazy” is just as bad as “I’m a skinny Indian guy.” Both are excuses for us to give up on ourselves.
And when we give up on ourselves…why should anyone else care?
This isn’t about productivity tips or “life hacks.” We’ve tried everything — to-do lists, reminders, getting motivated.
It all lasts for a while, and then we go back to doing exactly the same thing we’ve always done.