Project Genome – Flow for Couples
Flow for Couples is a 21-day self-paced online training program.
In the program you’ll get four week’s worth of videos and lessons, including:
*Daily, Weekly and Monthly Practices
*Biochronology of the Yum (timing your sex, work, and creativity to match your endocrine cycles)
*The Neurochemistry of Boredom (and how to reverse it)
*Dynamic Relating-the 30-30-30 Game (or how never to be wrong again)
*From Monogamy to Higher-ogamy (how to get beyond format and into content)
*Killing Narcissus (aka how to put a bullet in your Idealized Self and learn to love your partner)
*Taking the Kink out of Kinky-neurochemistry of full spectrum sexuality Part One
Flow for Couples includes over 10 new videos, detailed homework and exercises to complete together, and a one month implementation program that will level up your life.
Flow is a state where you lose your sense of self, you drop into the present moment, you feel powerfully driven to do more of it, and totally inspired when you’re in it. In other words, it sounds a hell of a lot like love. And when you can learn how to hack Flow, not just for yourself, but with someone you truly care about, that’s when things get interesting in a hurry. The selflessness that is a hallmark of the Flow state becomes communion when you share it with another person. That timelessness becomes eternity. That effortless becomes passion. That inspiration becomes transformation. So when you do find someone to be in a real relationship with, if you’re at all like us, you’re asking the question “how on earth do we keep things that alive after the honeymoon wears off?” Sure, if you’re still swiping right on anything that moves, the fear of missing out is stronger than the fear of slowly fading out. And if that’s where you are, it’s totally fine, but this isn’t the course for you. This program is for couples who are committed to each other. It could be for life, it could be for a year or even a week. How long matters less (for us) than if it’s just a clear “yes” to walking this leg of the journey together. It’s like rock climbing where two people tie into a rope, or martial arts when you both bow onto the mat in the spirit of training. That’s the non-negotiable we’re looking for before we get started. The goal of this program is to offer couples of all ages and orientations (though for simplicity we’ll language things hetero-normative) the chance to turbo-charge their relationship from the ground floor up. We’ll give you some basic but powerful practices that let you experience more Flow, more love, more passion and more connection, without any of the touchy feely therapy or New Age stuff. And BTW, that doesn’t mean this work doesn’t get as wild and amazing as you can imagine (and likely then some). It just means that you can get the results we’re talking about without believing anything different than you already do. It’s content neutral-meaning that it’s composed of simple experiments you experience for yourselves without having to buy into “love languages” or whether you’re from Mars or Venus. Cool?
Why does “Flow for couples” even matter?
You felt an easier more enjoyable connection to each other in the past than you have right now
You negotiate with sexuality, withholding, rewarding or bargaining
You play the “tit for tat” game balancing chores, solo time with friends, and time together
You’ve looked into some couples’ therapy or workshops but get turned off by language or exercises that feel more forced or cheesy than helpful
You find yourself looking back on the “honeymoon” in your relationship, and have been quietly resigning yourself to never seeing “the good old days” again
You avoid intimacy in ways that leave you feeling even less satisfied than before (think: digital distractions, varying bedtimes, emotional infidelity pornography/romantic fiction, substance use)
You occasionally ask yourself “is this really all there is?” and suspect the answer might just be, yes
You blame your partner for not being enough or (however slightly) robbing you of the adventuresome life you thought you were going to live
It’s been way too long since you’ve felt butterflies or true passion for the person you love
Flow for Couples can help, but only if you’re willing to set aside your old dramas and do something different.
It’s like a self-guided training program for your most important relationship. It’s practical, experimental and experiential. You learn a new idea about training Flow, you apply it together, you see what happens, and you make it your own.
We’ve found the consistent traps for missing Flow with your partner are:
Trouble shifting gears from the stress and challenges of work, finances and family to have fun and feel connected again
Talking past each other without getting each other’s world, and feeling worn down by the same recurring roadblocks or fights
Wrestling between an idealized version of what romance “should” look and feel like, and what your actual life has become
Being too tired, stressed or distant to allow sex to be a recharger
A love life that feels routine, an obligation, or just serves as occasional tension relief
Loss of charge or excitement as you spend more and more time together as domestic partners-everything is predictable and the downs start to outweigh the ups
Nagging sense that if you were with you ideal partner, you wouldn’t be experiencing all of these setbacks
Telling yourself that things will get better after: the wedding, honeymoon, promotion, house or baby
Feeling like the rest of your life is hard enough as it is, you shouldn’t have to “work” on your relationship
And some cool facts you might not know.
Relational Flow isn’t something we have to wait until we feel to enjoy, it’s something we can deliberately create more of on purpose
It doesn’t require talking about or sharing our feelings (unless you want to)
You can shift and improve many relationship dynamics and patterns at the body/brain level and leverage neurochemistry to your advantage
A healthy sexual practice together is one of the most potent (and enjoyable) ways to charge the relational bank account but.
7 out of 10 women report being “dissatisfied” or “strongly dissatisfied” with their love life
72% of people report having had a Flow experience during sexuality, but only 23% share it with their partners!
Couples that become skillful at sharing Flow together stay together longer, experience less infidelity, and report higher life satisfaction
Flow releases five of the most potent neurochemicals for motivation, learning and well-being-norepinephrine, dopamine, endorphins, anandamide, and oxytocin-many of which underpin the feeling of romantic love as well. (which means, you can literally make more love).