Are you always pushing people away when what you'd really like is to get closer to them?
Do you avoid letting people get close in case you get hurt?
Emotional pain is one of the most deeply 'painful' hurts we can experience, even though it is invisible. We can get hurt because of what others do, and we can also get hurt because of what we ourselves do.
Whatever the cause, it's only natural to want to protect ourselves. So we take steps to see it won't happen. Like pushing people away.
Why fending people off seems like a good idea
Putting up a barrier between yourself and other people can seem like a good way to protect yourself. If you don't let them get close, they can't hurt you, can they? If you reject them first, they won't have a chance to reject you.
And this is quite true. But if you maintain this approach for any length of time, you risk ending up isolated and lonely. This is not only no fun, it is quite literally bad for you, as research has shown. (1)
Never letting anyone close can backfire on you
Now of course there are some people whom you should exclude from your life, if you can.
There are people who wouldn't be good for you, people who could have a seriously negative effect on your life. It's important to learn to identify who is 'toxic' for you, and give them a wide berth.
But it's equally important not to 'tar everyone with the same brush'. Because there are also people with whom you could have close and rewarding relationships that you can really enjoy. It would be a terrible shame to drive them away.
But if you've fallen into a pattern of fending people off because of a fear of rejection or hurt, it can feel very scary to start letting people come closer again.
How do you deal with those feelings of anxiety that increasing intimacy can bring on? How do you manage the process comfortably and stay in control of what's happening?
How hypnosis can help you quickly master a new relationship pattern
Stop Pushing People Away is an audio hypnosis session developed by relationship psychologists that will help you overcome your fears about intimacy and start to build more satisfying relationships.
As you take the time to listen and relax repeatedly to your session, you will find that this powerful hypnotic experience allows you to
- feel a growing sense of deep inner calm
- be more relaxed about getting to know people
- develop your ability to discern who can be trusted
- be more willing to give new people a chance
- begin to develop closer, more trusting, more rewarding relationships